The Long Haul

Where our heroine stays up for 24 hours straight doing history and finishing with flying colors and sleeping for two days except not because she has to pack. This started at 7:00 pm last night and finished 5: 30 am this morning.

8:13 pm
School is odd. I have to interview a dead guy. Not only that, but why does no one ever tell you what to call a Russian communist leader? President Stalin doesn’t work. Comrade Stalin makes me feel like I’m living in Oceania. Just calling someone by their last name seems kind of rude when they’re kind enough to take time out of their murderous schedule to talk to a a time-traveling journalist. Maybe I should interview Kruschev instead. He seems like a nicer guy.

9:20 pm
Both of my parents are staying up with me. I really like them. Also, my mom is baking chocolate cake. Also, you know what a really good motivator is? Telling myself I can’t have coffee before I finish three more assignments.

10:03 pm
Cake is good. When I make coffee after finishing more assignments, I’ll eat more cake. Good thing I’m going running tomorrow. I’m normally a health nut, but I make some concessions in the case of all-night school lock downs. In two hours, I will be an expert on liberation theology, the Party of the Institutionalized Revolution, and the mistakes Belgium made in the Congo during colonization.

11:12 pm
My cat is asleep. The living room is strangely quiet. Am I the only one awake? Sacrificing motivator in favor of staying awake. Two more assignments down. Must drink coffee now. *gets coffee* Nevermind. Everyone is awake, just quiet. I feel better now. I’m drinking Starbucks, which might be partly why I feel better now. Energy! Coursing! Through! My veins! Every sip is like a freaking rocket trip! Psshh. I can do this. This is nothing. Of course I’ll live. I might go to bed at 6 am, but I can do this. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and what better way to strengthen me than to create the coffee bean so that Starbucks could exist so that I could drink it so that I could be strengthened? Can you tell the coffee is working? Because it is. Lalalalalalalala. Back to work. Goal: finish one more assignment before 12:30. Reward: uh…I’ll get back to you on that one.

12:52 am
On the bright side, I have almost reached my non-sleep threshold. You know, where you’ve been awake so long that you can’t sleep anymore. It should be another hour or so. I also just realized something. There are actually no more hours in the night than there are in the day. Hours are not longer at night, either. I think that’s kind of twisted. I also just realized something else. I will be awake until 7 am. This is not a guess. It is a fact. Unless I pass out on my laptop, which is likely. Note to self: procrastination is the devil and so not worth it. This would be a good time for me to develop insomnia. Just a one night thing. Like a 24-hour bug.

1:28 am
I just chugged coffee. I’m not sure how good of an idea that was. I hope there isn’t some weird, abstract blood vessel tendinitis fracture condition that’s caused by chugging caffeinated coffee.

2:21 am
“The Asians and Arabs did not value European goods and thought them inferior to their own, which greatly frustrated the Europeans, who as always had superiority complexes and could not believe anyone would put themselves above Europe.” -me, on my assignment (my filter doesn’t work this time of day)

4:30 am
It’s the home stretch. I just had a pack of calamata olives and half of an avocado. My eyes feel tiny, my stomach feels fulempty, my tea is cold, and the sun is coming up in 1.5 hours. I have two massive assignments left. *picks up sword, which bears remarkable resemblance to a laptop* Let’s. Do. This.

5:10 am
My eyes keep closing by themselves for prolonged, not-just-a-blink periods. My typing speed has slowed significantly. My fingers are doing funny things. I have one more assignment. Must…go…on…

5:26 am
I am done. I am going to sleep, I think. I was wrong about 7 am. I should clean my room. It’s freezing. I totally blew off the last assignment, but I totally don’t care. *snore*

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