The Worst is Close to Home

As a Christian, you’re on your guard a lot of the time. Actually, all of the time. After a while I think it gets to be second nature. It’s not like we live in a constant state of fear or whatever…quite the opposite…but still, we take the whole “be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves (Matthew 10:16)” thing pretty literally.

But today I was thinking…we see the things that are wrong in the world and they are revolting. We’re put off by things that go against our Christian nature. But the worst, most dangerous thing, is actually inside of us. My theology and/or wordage might be off here, but…call it human nature, call it the heart, call it sin, call it what you want: the thing I personally have to battle the most is, quite simply, myself. I know that we’re affected by what we allow to affect us; “But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness (Matthew 6:23)!” But I don’t think Eve had been doing drugs and listening to crap music before she ate the fruit. I’m just saying; a great deal of the battle really is inside of us.

What makes you who you are? Your choices. What determines the direction of your life? Your choices. What makes up your entire life? Your choices. And what is a choice? It’s just you, inside yourself, choosing first of all which voice to listen to, and then whether or not to obey it. Can we even hear the right voice? Or are we so caught up in our own that we’ve become deaf to Him? I know I become deaf, whether by intention or by simple apathy, all too often. But, because God is perfect and merciful and so beyond anything we could ever fathom, we have a King who loves us because Jesus bought us with his blood. And so, even though I suck about 99.9% of the time, He always keeps loving me. I will never understand this, and I can never be thankful enough for it. All I can do is to stay in His shadow and pray that He’ll open my ears.

(India-ness and NaNo-ness will come later, I promise)

3 thoughts on “The Worst is Close to Home”

  1. I first response as a mother and one who sees you daily and how you make choices, is to say, do not worry, you are more than OK, and you are a child of the High most King! But I also read in Proverbs just this morning that a flattering tongue does no good. Si I do not ant to stand in the way of the King. He will and must have His way with you. But i will say this: I am so proud of you. I am so grateful for choices you have made:-)
    And will still make in the future!


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