Shalom! Which is one of four (gasp!) words I can say in Hebrew. I can say a lot of words in Greek but as I have no idea what they mean, I probably shouldn’t do that, in case I invoke the Muse or something crazy.
Today is Day Five of Official Lecture-ness, and WOW I am tired. I think it’s a general state, though, since the campus is noticeably calmer and…er…emptier…than it’s been this whole week. The coffee people are making a killing today. And the funny part is that tuts haven’t even started yet, nor has the coming barrage of assignments barraged yet. Whoa, who knew barraged is an actual word…
However, this post is about more than life as a student, and in fact has very little to do with that. Sort of. I need more coffee so that my thoughts can work in a meaningful way.
In all seriousness, though, I will now proceed to seriousness.
As a Christian, especially if you’ve been a Christian for a long time or have grown up in a Christian environment, it’s incredibly, unfortunately easy to fall into the trap of thinking “I have arrived.” I’m certain I’ve written about this before because every so often I realize yet AGAIN that not only has no one (except Jesus, who was there to begin with) ever arrived, no one will ever arrive. We arrive when we die. Something to look forward to. However, for some reason, all of us think we’ve arrived every now and then, and that makes us complacent and dull and apathetic, which as we all know is basically the antithesis of the ideal that we’re aiming for. We’re aiming to be on fire, full of fire, breathing fire, walking through/in/under/ fire, almost anything to do with he word “fire,” also known as The Holy Spirit. That is obviously the opposite of complacency, which is more like…lukewarm, dirty bathwater. Which is gross.
I don’t really have an answer for you as to how to prevent this and/or get out of this state of mind once you’re there. All I can do is tell you what I do, which really has nothing to do with me at all. First, like waking somebody up, God starts dropping hints for me, which I of course miss. Then He starts dropping boulders, which I also miss. It takes getting figuratively struck by lightning for me to actually wake up and realize that I have officially become stagnant. Then comes the hardest part: pushing past the slow-moving thought process I’ve become used to in my spiritual life and reigniting my prayer life, my Bible reading life, etc. All of this, again, has nothing to do with me, except that I have to be willing to do it and fight for it. God is the only one who can light the fire and keep it burning; we have to be open channels. But being an open channel is a lot easier said than done.
So I guess my point/punch line/thing is that it’s so important that we keep checking ourselves for signs of apathy. It’s like a warrior checking his/her armor; is there a missing plate, is there a dent, is the sword sharp, and so on. And pray, even if you feel like you’re rambling, even if you feel like you’re not getting anywhere, even if you don’t feel anything at all. Sometimes, in fact most of the time, it’s not about the feeling; it’s about the doing. If you push through the dry, desert times, if you’re even trying to push through, that means that in your heart (which is the thing that matters) you at least WANT to want God, and that’s enough; God will do the rest. ❤