Sooo I was kind of expecting this to happen, so I wasn’t exactly surprised, just…taken aback. But I was sitting in my room, thinking about all the studying I had to do that night, when suddenly the thought came: What am I doing? I’m studying languages? Where did that even come from? I definitely thought I would be doing medicine…so much so, shall we recall, that I applied for it and was rejected before I realized that I should just follow my passion, three whole months before coming to UCT (this is not a lot). And what precisely do I plan to live on after I finish my BA? I don’t think there are many people out there paying good money to have a mediocre ancient Greek scholar translate things from or into ancient Greek, unless there’s an isolated colony of Zeus worshipers somewhere I don’t know about. And oh, French. Only about a billion people know French. And Hebrew. Such a large amount of people speak Hebrew and learning it is going to be SO useful in global communication…oh, wait, JUST KIDDING. I mean, yeah, I want to get involved with Bible translation, but what if I change my mind? What if what if what if.
And then I kind of felt like God did the equivalent of clamping his hand over my mouth and sitting me down in a chair. I decided to share this because it applies not only to me, but to everyone who has given their lives, every speck of every moment of every day, to God, and to everyone who desires with all that they are and more to follow Christ, to see his name praised, and to walk with God.
“Don’t you have faith in me? You know this is what I told you to do. Does it matter if the world does or does not think that it’s useless and a waste of time? Does it matter that you don’t know the future? I know the future; it rests in my hands. You’re doing what I told you to, you are where I want you to be, and that’s enough. Have faith in me like you’ve had throughout your life. Haven’t I always taken care of you? Don’t you remember my promises? Your mind isn’t yours to change; you gave it to me, you gave your whole life to me, and I have it planned down to the most seemingly insignificant detail, down to how many breaths you take, down to the dirt under your fingernails. If you keep giving yourself to me every moment of every day, nothing will disrupt my plans for you; nothing will destroy the life I made for you.”
Me: “Yeah, but -”
“Be still and know that I am God. I love you and care for you more than anyone else ever could; I created love; I am love. Trust in me. I am always with you, even to the end of the age. I never give you more than you can take, with my help. I never entrust more to you than you can accomplish. Don’t I know your capabilities, and vices, better even than you? Didn’t I knit you together in your mother’s womb with my very hands? Didn’t I breathe into you my very breath and give you life? I know exactly the purpose for which I made you. I know exactly the way in which I will use you for my glory. Trust in me, and you will know contentment and peace in every circumstance; in pain and joy, in trials and times of plenty, in starvation and abundance, in loneliness and companionship. To you much has been given, and much will be required, but I have given you everything you need to accomplish what I have made you to accomplish in my name. Your life will not be easy, but it will be blessed because my hand is on you. You will fall, but I will pull you up. You will sin, but I will forgive you if you ask it of me. You will fear, but I will give you courage.
“Because you love me, I will bless you. Because you draw near to me, I will draw near to you. Because you hold my laws and commands in the depths of your heart, and because you desire to honor them, I will protect you. When you call me, I will answer. Because you praise my name, you will find rest in me. And when you have found rest, I will send you far beyond the edge of your circles, to proclaim my love for every person, so that they may know my love as you know my love. I have sent the Savior, but they have not heard of him. I have sent a gift, but they don’t know he’s there for them to accept. But because you know him, you know me, and you know the love I have for you and for all people, and I will send you to draw them close to my heart so that they, too, can rest in me.
“I am your strength and your song. I am your lover and King, your friend and Savior, your daddy and your God. Trust in me, and rest in my love.”
Deuteronomy 26:16-19, Deuteronomy 28, Judges 6, Job chapters 38-42, Psalm 1, Psalm 46, Psalm 90, Psalm 139, Psalm 119, Jeremiah 29, Matthew 28, Romans 8, Romans 12, 1 Corinthians 2, 2 Corinthians 1:3-7, 2 Corinthians 4, 2 Peter 1, 1 John 1, 1 John 3, pretty much the whole freaking Bible to be perfectly honest.