I am human. I am imperfect. I am not the ideal Christian. But I know where my heart is, and my heart is in God’s hands, being molded by him. He knows I love him. He knows I long for him. He knows I live for him. What the world thinks is irrelevant. What the people around me think is irrelevant. He is love, and he is in me, and I’m a channel; I just work here.
I will live for him. I will pray and sing and dance for the glory of the name of Christ, and I will continue to follow him, sometimes in leaps and lightning speed, and other times with painful crawling, every centimeter taking all my strength. What is my strength if it doesn’t belong to him? Where did it come from? Who gave me breath? What right have I to my life? (And from a human perspective, he can do a lot better job with it than I ever could).
I will continue to not smoke, to abuse alcohol or drugs, to not enslave myself to anything, to not sell my soul, to not return to the old me, to not fill my mind with godless things, to not worship the things of this world; not because I am strong, but because I am weak and he is strong in me. I am better than no one and have no more strength than anyone; my strength is depleted and I am at the end of myself, but HE gives me all the strength and love and patience that is in me; none of it is mine, only his. I will pray for the high places in my life to be broken down; I will ask daily for the strength and desire to do his will; I will continue to root out the sins that dirty my soul, to ask God to reveal them, to repent of them so that he will wash me clean. My heart is your home, my God: sweep out the cobwebs and throw out the intruders and make it your temple, your throne, your house of love, peace, and mercy.
I will not bend; I will not break. I am like a veil thrown over a strong, immovable tower; you, my God, are the tower, and I am weak and ineffective but for you. Because your strength is in me, I will not compromise. Your lovely laws are written in your book, for all to see. Because of who you are and because you give me strength, because you give me love, I will follow your laws and cling to you. Life is one long storm, but because I hold to you, the wind will not shake me and the lightning will not strike me. The seas will not overthrow me and I will not be afraid. You are my courage, my strength.
You are a light to all people in a dark world. The light is either hated or loved; either despised or hungered for. Let those who hate you hate me also, because you are my Father in heaven and with love and thanksgiving I stand for you; I stand for you with strength you give to me. Let everything I do bring glory to your name; let me do nothing out of selfish ambition; let the world see the light you are because of how your people follow after you, hearts reckless, spirits abandoned, arms wide. We run. We run. We run.
Lovelessness; deceit; pride; anger; jealousy; criticism; judging; all impurities, all things not of you, burn from my spirit. Let me walk through your refining fire, my God, no matter the pain, no matter what it takes. I am yours. You made me, you gave me free will; I choose you, I give it back to you. Take all of me. All glory to your everlasting name, your lovely name. Let all knees bow and all tongues praise the King of kings, the Lord of the earth, the protector and the healer, the one who gave his life so that we might have life: Jesus Christ, Messiah, let your name be praised.