Dear reader of my occasionally deep, almost always slightly rambling posts: you may have noticed some changes happening around here. It may feel strange.
But the only really consistent thing is change. And through change, I try to be transparent and to portray that change with integrity and openness.
I know that change is good. Without change, there is no victory. Without change, there is no forward motion. Without change, fear stays the same and there is no excitement or compulsion to run it (fear) over with an 18-wheeler. Without change, we can only ever be stagnant and complacent.
And here is a confession: fear is huge in my life. I have touched on this before, but it’s the truth. Fear is without a doubt the biggest thing that holds me back from doing things. Can you believe that a while ago I was afraid to go to the mall because “what if it isn’t in God’s detailed Life Plan of Epic Detailedness to go to the mall and I die or something”? You think I’m joking, but I’m not. I’m past that, thankfully. But fear is huge for me.
A lot of that has to do with change. Somehow I got it into my head that everything staying the same = nothing bad will happen. It’s amazing how much I’ve organized my life around nothing bad happening. But I had a wake up call. A very real wake up call when a man threw a rock at my head. So many things have happened since then – so many good things. So many necessary things. And one of those things was realizing that I have crippled myself, clipped my own wings, shut myself down, put myself in a box. I have been my own enemy. I can blame it on other people, I can blame it on God, but the truth is that I am the one who has stood in my own way.
I refuse to be in my way. I refuse to be afraid. I have said it before and I will say it again until it rings true to the depths of my soul: I refuse to be afraid. Or if I am afraid, then I refuse to give in. I will face my fear head on. I will charge at it and demolish it with His help. I will overcome. I will overcome. By the blood of the Lamb, I will overcome.